Dale Carnegie's Golden Rule no. 2

"Give honest, sincere appreciation..." said my brother once, who is working with Dale Carnegie Training, since more then 2 years and successfully training in soft skills to top management people of leading companies.

I am always ready to argue (decently called 'expressing my opinions' ) :-) " But then people think they are too good and blow up like a balloon..."

"Try it once...." He insisted, " honest and sincere are the key words."

I forgot about it, same as we conveniently forget to implement the positive ideas, which require effort to go against the old ideas that are set in our mind. But yesterday I got my vehicle serviced. The same old routine, leaving it at service station in the morning with lots of instructions, coming back home by auto and collecting it in the evening after checking and paying the bill without looking at the workers.

While driving back home I clearly felt the difference in its running... smoothness increased, breaks working perfectly, all issues solved.... My vehicle seemed to be singing along the wind, making me feel happy too.

Okkkkk..... I thought and the Golden Rule no. 2 stroke my mind. As soon as I reached home, I took out the bill, dialed the no.

"Hello..." a dry, male voice said, seemingly tired after a long day.

"Hello.... I just collected my vehicle no. 930 from your center..." I started.

"Hummm...." The voice at other end got alert, ready to hear some complaint.

"I wanted to tell you that it's working so well. I am happy with your work... So just felt like telling. Also convey to the worker who has done it, that he has done a good job. "

"...................." Silence for a moment, his brain not accepting what the ears were conveying. Till date they have always conveyed harsh, complaining, blaming voices.

Then " Thank you, thank you madam. Thank you madam...." a smiling voice echoed, not knowing how to respond. Whole day's hard work and tiredness seemed to be evaporated instantly.

" Ok..." I hung up. Satisfied and realising power of 'honest & sincere appreciation'....

I would have surely expressed my dissatisfaction and complained if there was anything wrong, even a small bit.... then why not express satisfaction and no-complains too....!!!!!!!! I did it for a selfish reason... you know behaving positively has it's good effects on us too. :-)

TRY IT.... with every one, family members, neighbours, colleagues... Make the surroundings happy and you will be happy too.... :-)

I AM proud to be a woman….

Not only for my natural ability of multi-tasking but also for the sensitivity I have, which makes me cry on Ishan Avasthy and his mother’s situation…

Not only for the inner strength I have but also for the beauty I have, which makes surroundings live and cheerful….

Not only for the woman-power now showing up, but also for the love and care we are able to extend to a wounded heart…

I don’t regret for being physically weak… but happy to have a special ability of being a mother….

…don’t regret to be the last person to get importance in a family… but proud to be the first person to have impact on my child’s thinking....

….don’t have complaint of not getting independence… but comfortable of staying at home in secured, hassle-free environment with my dreams…

…..don’t regret on being socially disadvantageous… but enjoy the advantage of preference.

I want to be A WOMAN in all the coming reincarnations…… amen !!!

Women - of course the fairer sex...

When I was in school, we had a story in language text book… A father, not-so-educated businessman wanted his daughter to study more, so that she can get good husband for her… BUT the mother did not want her to study further, though she had good education…. !!!! WHY? Her reasoning to herself was that… if she can not save her daughter from suffering…. at least she can make her beloved ignorant from those troubles…. !!!! I didn’t understand it much at that age, but gradually realized what the author meant…. A daughter-in-law in a family is a second class citizen always.

When I saw ‘Dil Chahta Hai’…. I thought, I never had such freedom, rather none of us… It is said among women that, their life starts with the dos and don’ts (more of don’ts) of father, later it’s from husband and then son…. So always she has to follow the pattern pre-decided….

While we bought our new house, I went to buy some utensils with my mother. It’s a custom to write down name on the steel utensils, so that they don’t get lost. I have seen all the utensils of my mother’s kitchen containing my father’s name on it and in my grandma’s kitchen, grandpa’s name. I told, I want my name on them, it’s my kitchen after all. My own mother, my greatest well-wisher, a B. Sc. with Physics, worked with PRL…. argued a lot on that and then we compromised on writing down my full name, which anyway includes my hubby’s name… :-)

Here we cannot and should not blame anyone or anything in particular. That’s the mentality passing down from generation to generation… so much hard-wired in the society that no one even realize what’s wrong with that !!!! Including women themselves…. ! They also believe the same and behave on that…. The situation is like this…. a person who is deaf from birth, doesn’t learn to speak even though their voice-box and other system is in place and perfect…. ‘Cause they have never heard anything that they can learn to speak, right? Same way, our society has never heard from their elders of the status and respect a woman deserves…. And even when they learn to think independently, it is still influenced by the mindset and ideas they have acquired during the past years within the environment, upbringing, family, education…..

BUT here I beg to differ slightly…. On second thought…. after many experiences and seeing the world around…. I also think…. That mentality of keeping myself in a shell has protected me always. Kept me safe from many unwanted, undesired experiences and situations in life. Has let me stay innocent still. So I am thankful to my parents for teaching me the same. Now when I am grown up enough to think independently… I wish I can balance between my independence and my responsibilities.

Searching for myself

While filling up the profile, I realised..... there are more books that I WANT to read then what I have already read... More music to listen then I already know.... Learning water colour painting.... Whenever I visit Crosswords, I get so frustrated on seeing the pile of books and stands of cds.... that I end up buying nothing... thinking some other time... When that other time will come????

So here is the standard, age old, common-to-all excuse ' No Time'.... !!!! In fact, I may be mismanager of time or may be over the period of life and passing through tough years, have lost that keenness which I had in my teen year, when I used to read till the library's closing time and meeting mom on the way back home, coming searching for me or reading till late night 2 pm and from 6 am again in bed only, having 3-4 hours sleep only and completing 'Gujarat no nath' by Kannaiyalal Mumshi just in two days...

Or may be because priorities are changed.... Have been so much occupied in trying to play role of mother, wife, daughter-in-law, daughter etc..... that too stressfully perfect and wishing to match ideals.... have I lost myself in all these???? Or this is what I AM....

Here I am.... this is me.....